OMG

The WORST possible thing happened today. I'm worried that I will be thought of differently....OMG.....horrible.....devastating......

As most of you know, I was laid off from my job. I'm not really sad over it, just scared of the unknown. Cliche time....yes I know everything happens for a reason & when one doors closes another will open......but those things don't pay the bills or ease the anxious moments I have. But I digress....

I've been doing fun things with my new found free time, in trying to figure out what I want to do. Yesterday I went on a Super Secret Hike on Federal land in Pennsylvania. My friend Patrice & her friend Susie took me on a trail they have made. Patrice & I worked together, she was also laid off. Patrice & Susie are members of the Winettes. They hike & bring wine & picnic in the woods. They solve all of life's problems during this time & it takes place in the unmarked woods of Pennsylvania. Just lovely. They've taken me under their wings & made me a Winette also. Saweeeetttt!!!!!

Last Thursday when I was home, after being laid off, I had the Price Is Right on. I was talking with my friend Sunny & I said to her I had to figure out how to get on the show so I could win a car of a lifetime supply of Campbell's Soup or something. Then I had a sign: a commercial came on for open auditions for contestants on August 10th. OMG!!!! I had to go. But, I would have to cross the George Washington Bridge & I have a fear of that. Too much traffic. So I asked Elysia if she wanted to go with me. We didn't decide to go until yesterday.

We got their early, had to wait a bit. There were so many people. I did my 30 second audition & we came home to wait. Hopefully they call......

Well Jay is here & we were laying in bed talking. He's always been asking me when I'm going to fart in front of him. Um, how about never? We always joke about it.....when he hugs me I tell him not to squeeze too hard, I might blow or when I walk Hailey I tell him I heard a tuba band outside......things like that. Well, tonight, Jay had a cat hair or something stuck in his throat & he was doing this weird thing trying to clear it out. I was hysterically laughing at him (he's pretty funny when it comes to gagging & stuff, I always laugh so hard I cry) and I told him he had to stop, I was gonna fart. And then it happened.

It wasn't a dainty fart. It was like a freakin' machine gun tooting out my ass. OMG the horror!!!! I couldn't stop it because Jay was doing his gagging thing, I was laughing at him with the machine gun blowing, I tried to stop but I couldn't!!!! When he stopped gagging he was laughing so hard his face was purple!! He was kind enough to offer to fart so I didn't have to be alone.

He says he doesn't think different of me but I'm still worried. Have I lost some of my girly-ness?? Does he still think I'm cute or does he think I'm a total disgusting slob?? Oh, the horror!!!!

Horrified,

Elizabeth