I'm a New York Exile living in the Garden State of New Jersey. My life is full of stories that could never be made up & must be shared.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Sleep Talking Jay
It was early Sunday morning, 6am. I was awake, I just fed the kids & was going back to sleep for a little bit. As I was settling down under the covers, I was facing Jay. He picked his head up & turned it & whispered "I know you took a dollar from them". Then he put his head down & went back to sleep. It was funny because he didn't make any sense & he whispered. Usually he's yelling or talking loudly.
Last night I was awake, laying there & his arm shot up toward the ceiling (this happens a lot, I should probably start wearing body armor to bed). In a very sing song way Jay said "mmmmm hmmmm" then in the same tone said "cheeba wabba chooba do". I don't speak that language so I'm not exactly sure what that means. In anyone knows, please share!!!
:)
Friday, December 3, 2010
Pocahontas
Let's go back to about 2004, the very beginning. Grimace finally had a boyfriend. Wait a second, I've never explained who Grimace is. Let me digress....
Grimace is the MOST affectionate name I have for my ex sister-in-law. Pretty much she physically looks like Grimace except she isn't purple & has long hair. Sure, some of you might consider that a very mean name to call her. But if you knew her & how awful & manipulative she is, how she lies constantly, well, then you'd think I was being too nice.
Anyway, Grimace was happy she finally had a boyfriend. Now, she didn't get this boyfriend like most people get boyfriends. I'm about to out her on the internet. I'm pretty sure she doesn't read what I write. Honestly, her reading skills are fairly low & I'm being honest. Let me digress again for another moment.....
Conversation between the Succubus, Grimace & I:
Succubus: How do you spell morphine?
Me: M-O-R-P-H-I-N-E
Grimace: You knew how to spell that?
Succubus: Yeah, she went to college.
That, my friends, is a TRUE STORY!!!!
Back to my story....
Grimace had a boyfriend, who became her husband, then ultimately, her ex husband . I actually liked the guy & don't have anything bad to say about him. He was pretty much in the same situation as I was for some time.
See before Grimace & her man "Harry" were an item, they were just friends. Grimace pretended to be another mutual girl friend, "Sheila", of theirs on AOL's instant messenger. So when "Harry" was chatting with "Sheila", it really wasn't "Sheila", it was Grimace. Well, as time passed, "Harry" & Grimace were hanging out. "Harry" told Grimace he was in love with "Sheila" & was going to propose. Grimace had to come clean & when she did, "Harry" told her she was to big to love. She was devastated & I had to listen to her blubber & cry & watch her drool, yes, she drools everywhere when she's a super hot mess.
Somwhere in all this "Harry" decided he did care for Grimace & they dated for a month before they got engaged. I was bent somewhat because I moved here to be with the ex, paid my dues tenfold & I had nothing to show for it, but whatevs....
There was going to be a double celebration, one for the stepfather's 25 years with a vounteer fire department & Grimace & "Harry's" engagement. The party was going to be at the Brownstone, in Paterson, NJ....you know the one, the Manzo's own it as in Real Housewives of NJ. Side note: those people have a lovely extablishment, excellent food & service. I have nothing but good things to say about it.
Don't forget I'm bent. We get there & I knew there was no way I'm going to be able to handle this shindig sober so in the first hour I had 2 glasses of champagne & 5 gin & tonics. No peeps, that is not a typo. When Grimace got there, she was showing off her ring & the ex, the tactful feller he is said "Don't think I'm buying you anything that big". Awesome. I wanted to crawl under the table & die. After the cocktail hour, we went upstairs for dinner, don't forget I'm bent & drunk. I barely ate any dinner.
Here I am, sitting alone at the dinner table, all the rest of the couples were slow dancing & the ex was at the bar doing shots. Great. I don't know which of us is the loser: me being drunk & alone at the table or him for ditching me for his friends. Mind you, I'm still walking to the bar & getting gin & tonics in between all this.
Next thing you know, the DJ is handing out props. He's handing out hats that would resemble the Village People. What did I get?? A big ole feather head dress. That's is right peeps!! I know there is photo documentation of me also, but I do not have any of those pictures in my possesion, otherwise I'd share them. You know I wore that thing for like 3 hours. I refused to take it off, drinking my gin & tonics, going to the bar & telling them "I'm Pocahontas". I pretty much kept telling everyone that. Unh huh, yeah. Not exactly one of my finer moments.
In my defense, any one of you would have consumed alcohol like that under the circumstances. Well, I pretty much had to drink to be around most of that family. There were 4 exceptions to that & they will always remain exceptions. Hell, I think even they drink to be around that part of the family!!!!
I look back now & can laugh about a lot of the crap that went on. Hopefully, you all got a good laugh too!!!
:->
Funkify
How do I not worry about money & bills? How do I not worry that I don't have a job to earn me more money to pay my bills? What about the non existent health insurance I have?
I suppose I should be thankful I am capable of working, I just don't know what I want to do. 34, er 27 years old & I don't know what I want to do. Good thing I spent all that time & money going to college only to realize I don't know what it is I want to do. Maybe, since I've got the time, that is something I should figure out.
I also should probably be thankful I do have a roof & heat & food. And that I have Hailey & the boy with me. I also have friends who love me not for how much money I make but for who I am. I guess the same goes for family, but I always thought with family it's unconditional ;)
It's Christmas time & I just want to make people happy. I guess that's why I am so worry about visits & parties & gifts. Well I hope people like the homemade kind of stuff because that's what's going down.
Just because I haven't cancelled Christmas for myself doesn't mean I'm entirely thrilled about it. I suppose I will participate still and if people don't like the homemade stuff, don't invite me over next year!
:)
FML
I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping at night. Then when it's time to get out of bed, I can't even muster the energy to do that. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to see anyone, I don't want to talk to anyone, nothing. If you invite me to do something & I say no, don't take it personal because it's not.
See, I still haven't found a job. It's not because I don't look. I don't quite know if it's the economy, my skills/experience or a little of both. I'm so behind on all of my bills & my rent is late to the point where I am going to incur a late fee of $50. I constantly worry all the time about what phone calls I will be getting telling me I owe. It isn't as if I didn't proactively call to work something out. See, because I make some effort, even though the effort is very small, it means I am current & until I get to the point of being shut off, I can't work out a payment plan. How odd is that??
I actually went on the NJ website to see if I qualified for food stamps. Hell, I've been paying taxes forever, in theory, these public assistance programs should be for people who are in my position temporarily but they aren't. I don't qualify for food stamps. The money I make collecting unemployment doesn't cover any of my expenses fully but yet I don't qualify. They way I understand it, $435 a week is too much money to qualify for anything.....wait....I do qualify for one thing. Medicaid, but in order to even get that, I need to have some sort of brain injury.
Now, before job suggestions come in please note that I am signed up with 2 temp agencies, I've posted my resume on careerbuilder.com, northjerseyhelpwanted.com, indeed.com, usajob.com and I also check the NJ Department of Labor website & craigslist.com for jobs. Someone on careerbuilder.com saw my resume & called me for a managerial position. I drove 45 minutes one way for a 20 minute group presentation about a sales job. What a waste. I asked several times on the phone if it was a sales job & couldn't get a straight answer. I'm just very dejected.
With Christmas 22 days away....well....I don't want to participate. I don't have the means to buy presents or even buy items to make presents. I don't want to go to someones house & they have a small gift for me, when I have nothing. I'd rather not go at all. It's not personal to the people, I just feel like if I'm gonna be sad & depressed I'd rather be alone instead of having to fake it.
I just don't know what to do. I'm tired of people telling me it's going to work out, something better will come along, everything for a reason....I get that it will but that doesn't help me right now,at this moment. It doesn't make my bills current, it doesn't pay my rent, it doesn't get me healthy, non processed food groceries. It makes me angry that, in reality, I am a productive member of society & the only thing in place to help me is unemployment.....that's it. What is wrong with that?
Oh & the state still hasn't called.....they are 18 minutes late....
Friday, November 19, 2010
Job-less, still?
Maybe part of the problem is I just don't know what I want to do. That's right. I don't know what I want to do. I know, I've been out of college 10 years. Sure, I've worked as an admin assistant for 10 years. Yes, I'm great at what I do. That's not conceit, it's confidence. I look good on paper, my resume shows it & I'm even better in person.
I have a great personality. I'm extremely well rounded & adaptable. I'm smart & funny. I have great speaking skills & have tons of common sense. I can multi-task well & I have excellent communication skills. I have charm & I have grace. I'm one of those people who has all the extras you look for in an employee. It shows in my experience when you read my resume & it shows when you talk with me in person. I am a good & diligent worker who shows up every day & on time.
So what's the problem? Who wouldn't want me. I'd want me. But here is where I am at.....
I don't want to be an administrative assistant. It's just something I know I can do and I can do it very well. The problem is I don't know what I want to do. I've been trying to figure out what type of job would make me happy. I'm not quite sure. Yes, I do joke about acting, particularly in Lifetime movies, but that's not going to happen. I do know I want to do something fun & that will be enjoyable. I was given advice by someone I worked with that his most wealthy clients started their own businesses when they were at rock bottom. I'm not quite sure I'm at rock bottom & I've been racking my brain to figure out what I love & what I can do to employ myself.
A little while ago, my friend Amy posted a new entry in her blog, Byline to Finish Line. Amy is a wonderful writer who blogs about her journey as a triathlete. Her writing is amazing in the fact that you don't need to be a triathlete to relate. There is something for everyone. Anyone can identify with what she writes and to me, that is what makes her writing amazing!! If you couldn't tell, I admire her a lot & think she makes a great role model for women. You should check out her blog.
Her most recent post Taking, and creating, chances is about that. As she re-posted something a friend of hers had posted on Facebook: Is life about taking chances or finding chances to take, it got me thinking.....
I need to continue to figure out what it is that I want to do. A lot of us do jobs we aren't 100% happy with. It wasn't that I hated my job, because I didn't. I wasn't completely fulfilled. Then I was laid off which was a major shock & has left me slightly devastated. My choices are to continue to seek out a job that I know I ca do but won't leave me fulfilled or I can take the chance & figure out exactly what I want to do and will be 100% happy doing. I know that with the qualities I listed about myself & the fact that I have some other abilities, there is something in all that for me. I just have to figure it out. I have to figure out how to put aside the fears I have & the answer will come to me & it will then be my time to take & create some chances.
:)
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Welcome to the Garden State
First, let me just say that the NJ is wonderful. The beaches are nice, the ocean is there, it's just glorious. These are some pictures I have taken while I was down the shore, which by the way, is what people in NJ say. They don't go to the beach, they go down the shore.


The next pictures I'm going to share with you are from Luna Parc. It's a local artist's home, his name is Ricky Boscarino. It reminds me of Beetlejuice. It's lovely & disturbing all at the same time. Luna Parc is only open twice a year & for free. It is Mr. Boscarino's home. He asks for donations, I believe the last request was for glass Mrs. Butterworths syrup bottles, he is/was intending on making a tribute Mrs. Butterworth out of her bottles. I've included just a few of the pictures I took. Feel free to check out the website for Luna Parc. You will not be disappointed!!! I do think *some* of the jewelry is beautiful. Some things, well, as you will see, are for those who have eclectic tastes. The website does have more of the items for sale. I'd love to know what you think!


This is a ring he made
Unfinished Vase which I just loved
And you thought balls could only hang from your trailer hitch!!! You can dangle them from your ears too!!
This is from inside his bathroom. Everyone who visits Luna Parc asks what you think about the bathroom.
My next set of pictures are from the Camden Aquarium. I do believe Camden has been referred to as the murder capital of the US. Anyway, the Aquarium is really nice. It's right across the water from Philadelphia. Jay & I had a really enjoyable time there, worth the ride!


They have several touch tanks in the aquarium, a jelly fish touch tank being one of them!!!

My last set of pictures are from local hikes I've taken. Most have been in Stokes State Forest. I prefer to hike in the spring & fall. Less bugs, better temperatures, just nice all around.
Highpoint Monument, the highest point in the state of NJ
Highpoint again
Tillmans Ravine





That concludes my photo documentation of some of the great places in NJ to visit. I have learned to love NJ, a lot. I don't think I'd ever move away from here. Don't get me wrong, I do not forget my roots & there are some things I say or do because they are what make me who I am. I've now become a blend of one person, from one great place, now living in a new great place.
Enjoy!
Elizabeth
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Sleep Talking Jay
I never know when Jay is going to talk in his sleep. I don't think I can correlate it to anything. Last night he kept mumbling "mmmm hmmmm" over and over again, I don't know why.
Last night, however, Jay didn't quite mumble. I'm actually kind of surprised the neighbors didn't hear him.....through the walls & closed windows".
I'm not quite sure of the time, I just know I was asleep, in the deep sleep kind of sleep, no less. I was woken up to Jay, screaming at the top of his lungs "THAT'S NOT THE AMERICAN WAY!!!!!" I jumped, the poor cat jumped, it was awful. He was very agitated & mumbling he would show who ever the American way, swinging his arm around. I tried for some time to calm him down by rubbing his back & shoulder. I would say this went on for a couple of minutes. He finally settled down & went back to sleep, well, I don't think he stopped sleeping, he stopped talking. My heart was racing because I was scared out of a deep sleep.
I laugh now, but when it's happening it's not so funny. Hopefully, you all get a laugh!!
Thanks for reading!!
Elizabeth



