More Wits End Drama

Yes, I know I haven't written in a while.  Well, I'm here now & you better be prepared.  I have a lot to share so that means you better go potty, get drinks & snacks & find a comfy seat.

First, the reason for my lack of blogging, is that even right grammatically?  Whatever, I don't care.  Anywho, I haven't written much because I GOT A JOB!!!  That's right folks, I have a job.  It's pretty great too.  I can't tell you too much, yeah, it's secretive but I'm working for the Army.  Anyone who knows me in real life knows how I have a "thing" for men in uniform.  I feel my reward for having the 13 months from hell that wreaked havoc on my self esteem & worth & affected some of my relationships was this job.  I work with great people.  I'm appreciated and told that every day.  People are actually happy to have me working with them!!!  Currently I'm waiting on my security clearance and stuff, but that's why I haven't written cuz I'm way too busy doing the Army.

It's been very busy at Wits End.  About a month ago someone stole one of my license plates.  Yes, someone stole one of my plates, off the back of my car.  Assholes.  The night it happened, new neighbors moved into Baby Momma's apartment.  It happened sometime late Friday night into Saturday & I noticed it Saturday afternoon.  Awesome.  So I reported it to the local police & got a report number.  I had to go to the DMV come Monday morning because, well, I also had a stolen plate on my car.  Great.  Monday came & I got it taken care of.   Fast forward two weeks ahead......the cops were here for the 3rd time in 2 days, I will get to that.....& I was outside.  The one cop asked where I lived & I told him & he asked if it was my plate stolen.  I told him it was.  Well, it was found on a car that morning!  Can you believe it?!?!?!  I knew it didn't fall off like it was suggested to me.  Eventually I spoke with the State Trooper who made the discovery & my stolen plate was on a stolen vehicle & there was another stolen plate inside the vehicle!!!  Justice prevails!  They made one arrest & were looking for 3 more suspects.

As for the police.....our friend, the Conspiracy Theorist (CT) was especially active.  Yelling at the cops, the cops were yelling at him.  In one week, they were here 7 times in 6 days.  Nice.  His "girlfriend" showed up one night, needing her medication.  She was outside yelling to him to let her come up, she was cold, homeless, been sleeping in the woods......blah blah blah.  He was yelling at her he didn't want her there, she was begging....so I called the police.  Someone had already called before me so they were already on their way.  They argued, the police were banging on his door, she was crying....and this is a Tuesday night.  The police keep asking her if she has someone to call, anywhere she can go....she's cold, hungry....we learn she's picking cigarette butts up off the side of the road to smoke.  She is one effing hot mess.  So the one police officer calls a shelter or something for her.  She begs for charity/pity.  She has the nerve to tell the woman on the phone she is afraid of CT.  For reals.  I almost yelled out my window to call her out on that bullshit, she was just begging to stay the night with CT.  Oh, during this time, I was standing in my bedroom window with the lights out & window opening listening to the whole thing.  Eventually that drama ended & we all heaved a collective sigh of relief.

Now I can't quite remember if I ever mentioned the MOTY (Mother of the Year).  She lives at the other end of the building & has 3 kids, 9 year old girl, 5 year old girl & 2 year old boy.  The 9 year old is always watching & in charge of the 2 little ones.  ALWAYS!!!  The little boy is constantly running to the road, playing near the road, playing in the parking lots.  The frequently play on the steps to the basement which are on my side of the building.  The live way at the other end.  The basement floods & comes up the stairs.  Tell me, what decent parent allows their children to play out of eyesight?  Once, an old neighbor made a comment to the 9 year old asking where the mom was, that the 2 year old shouldn't be talking to CT & the mom had the nerve to leave a note on her door saying she didn't understand how was it was to be a single working mom.  Bullshit, she isn't single & doesn't work.  We all had called the office so much, they finally spoke with the mom & she left in tears.  Faker faker stinker baker.

Columbus Day weekend, that Friday, I was off of work.  I had an errand to run & when I walked out my door, I watched the little 2 year old boy run to the road.  Behind him running was another little neighbor boy & girl, the 9 year old & 5 year old.  As I drove by I didn't see any vehicles belonging to the parents.  So I called the office & they told me I should call the police.  So I did when I got home.  I went outside to wait for the officer & the 9 year old road her bike by me & I asked who was home watching her.  She said her mom. I told her I saw the 2 year old running to the road.  The little neighbor girl also riding her bike, who is probably about 7, said they were watching him.  I told them it's not their job to be in charge & watch the 2 year old, their job was to be little kids & have fun.  So the cop got there & I filled him in on the whole thing, how the rest of us feel, how we've complained.  He went & spoke with the mom, he said the kids look taken care of: clean clothes & fed.  I didn't hide the fact that it was me that called.  He even said he wished there were more concerned citizens like me.  Yes, I've made a conscious choice not to have children but that doesn't mean I don't have compassion or care.  Well, I struck a harsh chord with the mom.

That weak passive aggressive bitch had the nerve to yell out her window from behind her curtains at me.  I was out walking my Hailey girl, talking with my downstairs neighbor & I took Hailey off her leash to come in at my stoop.  She yelled "be careful, someone might call the cops".  Really.  And in front of my neighbor.  Dumb C U Next Tuesday.  Then a couple of days later, I was going out to the store & the 9 year old was by the road getting the mail.  She yelled "don't worry 9 year old, I'm watching you".  Ass.  It wasn't until I was out with my dog & she was out with her dog & 2 girls that she didn't say a word.  She wouldn't even walk near me.  HAHAHAHAHA Douche.  Funny thing, the cops were here those bunch of times the week after, I bet she shit a brick, especially when she saw me talking with them a couple of times!!!

I don't think I did anything wrong.  In fact, she's been better about watching her kids.....except that one time I went outside & I saw the 2 year old running to the road with a trail of kids behind him.  I know the 9 year old saw me looking.  LOL!  Those kids haven't played on our side of the building or the steps.  By default I may have made her a more watchful parent.  The cop told me she was lucky I called them instead of DYFS (Division of Youth & Family Services).

So that is what has been going on here.  Have you missed me???

:)

SHU

Back when I changed my life around, I moved out of my condo & in with a guy I knew from my old gym. It was strictly platonic. He knew I was not in a good place & offered for me to move in & share his house with him. Ok, seems like a nice enough guy, I said yes. I lasted 2 months, to the day. Between coming home & finding him drunk & blubbering to his psycho pink haired girlfriend who tried to start trouble, it was a lot more than I could handle. Living there forced me to find my current apartment.

I live at Wits End. Literally, can't make this shit up. When I was turning my utilities on, I'd give my address & there would always be a hesitation. Then I would say "that's really my street name" & the person would laugh. Because it's funny, really funny. Jay & I were joking around talking about where I live & we've coined it the SHU Now, if you watch any of the TV shows about being incarcerated, they always show you the inmates who live in the Special Housing Unit or SHU. The SHU buildings tend to have names. My building has a name. I live in the Stockholm House. All the buildings are named for NJ towns. So I now live in the SHU at Wits End.

At the SHU, there are some "fun" characters. There is the "thug" who walks everywhere. My neighbors Jen & Buzz do not find his musical choices appropriate. See the "thug" listens to some racially explicit music & feels the need to sing (out loud) & get down as he's walking. I had to point out that he never seems to have headphones in as he's walking & singing. The "thug" has a kind heart though. One of the girls that also lives in the SHU was playing in the pool one day, fully clothed. She doesn't know how to swim & "thug" offered to teach her. He kept telling her to "surface your legs, you gotta surface your legs, that's how you swim, you surface your legs". I'm thankful there is a lifeguard on duty.

Another fun guy is my neighbor. His name in John but I affectionately refer to him as the conspiracy theorist. He believes the FBI is out to get him. My other neighbor, Linda, said John is harmless, she lets him in to use her phone all the time. She said he served time in federal prison 20 years ago but he's harmless. Yeah, um aren't all people who serve federal prison time harmless? He would frequently go to my other neighbors slider, a young couple with a baby, & constantly ask to use their phone or phone chargers. They finally had to tell him to stop. He's asked for my neighbor Jen to toss him a couple of beers, he's asked both Jay & I for cigarettes. He even asked if he could come up & use my phone. I told him no, I was down walking Hailey because Jay & I were going out. I told him he could use my cell to make a call then. He's a big drinker. Borrows money from who ever he can. Hitch hikes to get around. I don't make eye contact with him. He freaks me out. He sits in the dark on his deck & smokes. When I walk Hailey at night I usually know he is there because I can smell the smoke. When we come back all I ever see is the red embers of the lit cigarette in the dark. Freaky. Total Alfred Hitchcock/Rear Window. I'm hoping to get a picture of him but it's going to have to be done extremely covertly. I don't want to do anything to set him off, you know?

Then there is "baby momma". I'm taking name suggestions for her. She's very bitter & gross, has the worst tattoos all over. I guess her baby daddy left her just before she gave birth. She doesn't hang around the best citizens, her one friend is a junkie. Nice to bring that around a baby. Baby Momma got in my face one day. This is how it went down:

Scene: Baby Momma putting her baby in her car, me walking Hailey

BM: Um, do you think you could pick up your dog poop & stop leaving it under my stairs? Also, stop throwing garbage on my porch It's gross & I have a baby.

Me: The next time you decide to accuse someone of something you better get your facts straight. I pick up after my dog (waving blue poo bags at her) and I don't know who is throwing garbage on your deck.

BM: (Getting a little nicer) Well it's gross & unsanitary.

Me: Call management to handle it, her name is Patty.

BM: It's gross & smells & I don't appreciate it.

Me: Call management, her name is Patty. Do you really want to have altercations with the people you have to share space with? Just call management.

End Scene.

I do have a picture of her. Her outfit that day was more loose than normal. She isn't a small girl & doesn't really dress appropriately. It's hard not to gasp sometimes. Again, remember I'm taking name suggestions for her!!!! The winner gets to come by & meet all the neighbors in person!!!

Welcome to the SHU at Wits End!! Feel free to stop by anytime!!!

Elizabeth